Olivia is Ferosch

papertissue:

littlemiss:

Fine - This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use “fine” to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five Minutes - This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the rubbish, so it’s an even trade.

Nothing - This means “something”, and you should be on your toes. “Nothing” is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. “Nothing” usually signifies an argument that will last “Five Minutes” and end with “Fine”.

Go Ahead - At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

Go Ahead (With Raised Eyebrows) - This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over “Nothing” and will end with the word “Fine”.

Go Ahead (Neutral Expression) - This means “I give up” or “do what you want because I don’t care” You will get a “Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead” in just a few minutes, followed by “Nothing” and “Fine” and she will talk to you in about “Five Minutes” when she cools off.

Loud Sigh - This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over “Nothing”.

Soft Sigh - Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. “Soft Sighs” mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

That’s Okay - This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. “That’s Okay” is often used with the word “Fine” and in conjunction with a “Raised Eyebrow”.

Please Do - This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn’t get a “That’s Okay”.

Thanks - A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you’re welcome.

Thanks A Lot - This is much different from “Thanks.” A woman will say, “Thanks A Lot” when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the “Loud Sigh.” Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the “Loud Sigh,” as she will only tell you “Nothing”. (Via)

oh, this is cute. symantics symantics

Truth.

hamjokes: Nordstrom Continues To Oppose Christmas Creep...

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:17:04 -0500

hamjokes:

Nordstrom Continues To Oppose Christmas Creep [Christmas Creep]

For Joel!

Domestic

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:13:00 -0500

A week or two ago, I posted an ad on CL looking for someone to teach me how to sew. In case I haven’t said it recently, the internet is a pretty awesome place. A lot of people responded, and today a very nice woman came, and for $10 an hour, taught me how to use my sewing machine and make drapes. The windows in my place are ENORMOUS and plentiful, neccessitating about 16 13-foot drapery panels, which hardly anyone makes, and if they do make them, are absurdly expensive (estimates were at least $1500 to do all of them).

I have always been confused as to why drapes are so expensive. “It is just a long piece of material!” I say. Today, however, made me completely understand. Drapes are unbelievably tedious. It took us about 3.5 hours today to just do one! One drape! I did another this afternoon and got it down to about 2 hours (certainly an improvement), but it is truly amazing how much time it takes to just make one.

That said, they (or at least the one that is 100% done) look pretty fabulous. It is fully lined, blind stitched hems all the way around, rod pocket. She certainly taught me well. And I feel really good just looking at the stupid stitches. I have been wanting to know how to sew for years and finally have some sort of knowledge.

ennuipartie: godiminbadshaperightnow: billie jean :: the roots...

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:36:20 -0500

ennuipartie:

godiminbadshaperightnow:

billie jean :: the roots feat. erykah badu

There is so much to love about this cover. Erykah Badu’s callbacks as Billie Jean, “look at his chin, look at the nose,” and ?uestlove’s hearty laugh carrying the song to its finish.

Don’t do me this ! You was the only one !

this is awesome.

aliexplainsitall:(via sparkleneelysparkle...

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:58:23 -0500

aliexplainsitall:(via sparkleneelysparkle & icedchai)

want!

Pretty sure my hair has grown more in the past 6 months than in...

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 16:24:58 -0500

Pretty sure my hair has grown more in the past 6 months than in the past two years.

What we do when we say goodbye:

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 22:34:40 -0500

britticisms:

At one point last night, I stood in the middle of a dance floor covered in flour, hips swerving to Soul so good, that I was sure I was experiencing some sort of out-of-body dream. The setting, the emotions, the euphoria were so uncharacteristic of the past few weeks - my pessimism, my countless moments of worrying - that I began to cry out of catharsis. It was, I’m sure, my last time at Sonotheque - a club I didn’t frequent but loved whenever I went. The tiny room was packed, understandably, with fans of Windy City Soul Club and the club itself: the pitch-perfect sound system, the unusually strong drinks, the makeshift dance floor, the music selection. No Top 40, no nonsense, no needless repetition of popular trends. Everyone was young and hip and dressed the part in skin-tight jeans or pixie-perfect dresses but they danced as if transported to another decade less complicated but not necessarily more loving. It was the combination of the best of both worlds: the music, unparalleled and foundational, and the apparent freedom of contemporary society, the integration of bodies and minds and souls. I will miss you so much Sonotheque it hurts.

Willie and I contemplated stopping by here last night but instead just stayed and had drinks at c-view (which I will say is such a nice little spot that I always forget about) before I had to jet. and I will say I am a bit sad I didn’t. There are so few places in Chicago to go to dance where it is not awful and terrible. I like Danny’s and Le Passage, but those are such opposite ends of the spectrum and Sonotheque was really such the happy medium and as Willie and I were discussing yesterday, really did often have a nice mix of people so often.

So angry they are turning into a Beauty Bar (just what Chicago Ave doesn’t need). So sad!

gennnna: since all i think about lately is...

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 22:23:43 -0500

gennnna:

since all i think about lately is weddingweddingwedding (dont worry, i am already sick of it myself) i’ve made my goal over the next few weekends to stake out local thrift and antique stores and find vases and cake plates and all thsoe gay things needed that i dont want to buy new or rent. there’s a store in our neighbourhood that we have passed many times and never ventured in. MISTAKE. finally made it in and it had anything you could possibly imagine (except for vases but i may have been too mystified to even notice them) plus more. including old printing blocks. thousands of old printing blocks. i wish i could use these because i want them SO SO BAD. there were also THOUSANDS of old postcards. and hundreds of old cameras. i’ll be back. every. single. damn. weekend.

what place is this? intrigued!

Kindle ad. So cute.

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 00:05:40 -0500

Kindle ad. So cute.

Big Breasted Women More Intelligent

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 19:04:27 -0500

caterpillarcowboy:

section9:

bowlingalleylawyer:

kbels:

a-panda-girl:

tonka:fearthenoob:

Research suggests that women with larger breasts are more intelligent than their less well endowed counterparts, with the larger breasted women studied having an I.Q. some 10 points in excess of those with smaller breasts.

The Chicago researcher (who confessed to herself being an A-cup), conducted a sociological study in which she took a sample of 1,200 women, divided by breast size into five categories: extra-large, large, medium, small, and extra-small.

She then administered an I.Q. test to the participants, finding that women in the large and extra-large categories scored an average of 10 points more than the women in the smaller categories, also beating medium sized women.

Since by its very nature the study yields only a correlation and not actual causation, it is far from certain what the actual causes of these results are, but there is some speculation that the amount of female hormones produced may be affecting both the development of the brain and of secondary sexual characteristics such as breasts.

Interestingly, most statistics relating to breast size show steady increases in average cup size over time in developed societies, thought to be based on improving nutrition. A positive correlation between improved nutrition, better growth and higher IQ seems far from improbable…

(via)

Not only do I have giant knockers, I’m now smarter than you. Bow down.

told you we’d be runnin this jernt soon.

Well men certainly aren’t going to stop you.

There aren’t many smart + well-endowed that go childless (unless it’s by choice). Natural selection at work?

Obviously, don’t be an idiot and say the opposite is true. It’s not.

tylercoates: I mean, this is not surprising, but what a...

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 17:05:59 -0500

tylercoates:

I mean, this is not surprising, but what a dickhead.

Meet no. 1 on my worst person in American media list at present.

Hard to beat out the Gosselins, but you win, Prejean!

"The CDC said doctors need to treat severe cases quickly with antiviral drugs such as Tamiflu, made..."

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 16:58:52 -0500

“The CDC said doctors need to treat severe cases quickly with antiviral drugs such as Tamiflu, made by Roche AG, Relenza, made by GlaxoSmithKline or for especially grave hospitalized cases, peramivir, made by BioCryst.”

- H1N1 has killed 3,900 Americans, CDC says - Yahoo! News

nominee, worst sentence ever

(via hamjokes)

and people say semicolons are unnecessary.

<3 u farecast

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 16:55:56 -0500

<3 u farecast